Through the years I’ve heard so many say the words, “what if I had made a different choice” or “I wish I had known” or something along those lines. Trust me, I’ve been there too. I’ve stressed myself out about the ‘what-ifs’…what if I had not gotten married so young? What if I had gone to college right out of high school? What could I have done for my ex-husband to not cheat on me? What if I got the genetics test while I was pregnant with my daughter? Could I have saved her from all the pain associated with the immune deficiency she has? We can ‘what if’ our daily actions and decisions until we drive ourselves nuts OR we can accept the decisions we’ve made and turn them into experiences. When you turn them into experiences and realize that’s how God wanted to shape you anyways…life will become so much less stressful. Trust me! Been there, got that t-shirt. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still try to figure out how it would have gone if I had made different choices. That’s just human nature but I have finally come to peace with my past decisions and realized if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I’m independent, stronger (emotionally and stronger in my faith), and I love myself. Let me explain that last one. I grew up during a time where girls needed to be skinny and my first marriage was no different. He would make comments and judge me if I gained even a couple of pounds. After my divorce, it took me several years, but I finally got to that place where I love and accept myself the way God made me. Eight years later and I’ve remarried and I’m thankful every day that God blessed me with a man that loves me just the way I am. No judging. Therefore, that experience, even though it wasn’t fun to go through, helped me accept myself for who I am. Not for who someone else wants me to be or what they want me to look like. Now I can also teach my daughter to love how God made her, because she’s beautiful just the way she is. Our experiences can help others and that’s what God wants most of all. I don’t like that my daughter is living with a rare immune deficiency, however; through the experiences, I have grown in my faith and my daughter in hers. We have been able to share her journey and give hope to others.
God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4
Because we have faith and love God and follow his plan, he will use my daughter’s suffering and pain for good. Plus, with his guidance, he has guided us to this clinical trial gene therapy that may (hopefully) cure her.
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
We have free will to choose our path, God doesn’t choose it for us. He may not like the path we choose but he allows it to happen. Why? Because he uses those experiences to help us grow in our faith; to shape us into the unique person and purpose he had planned for us all along. So don’t regret or hate your experiences, have faith and know that God will use them for good.